Stress is a natural part of life, though it may take different forms for different people. Stress is like a tiger trying to chase you. The tiger doesn’t care who you are. It is just looking for a snack. You also can’t outrun a tiger, so it is going to catch up to you sooner or later. The question is how will you respond? We want to share how stress shows up in our lives.
Stress is such an individual experience. How is stress different for spellers and typers? Spellers have more difficulty because we can’t just go and do. Stress for spellers and typers compounds because we don’t always have access to a CRP (Communication and Regulation Partner). By this we mean one little thing can fester because we can’t immediately talk about it.
Stress comes in many flavors. Sometimes they are like a twisty cone, chocolate and vanilla all at once. There is overlap in the following categories and these are just samples of strategies to alleviate stress in various environments.
One flavor is sensory stress. If the environment is too loud or too quiet, too hot or too cold, too bright or too dark, too stinky or full of perfume, too many or too few vibrations or too busy, we can feel stress. It is helpful to know your own sensory triggers and plan ahead. So let’s go over some ideas that might help:
• Bring snacks if unfamiliar foods throw off oral sensitivities.
• Food can help when senses are overwhelmed. Having something to eat can help focus senses on a happy activity (as a speller choice, not a “reward”) – we get hangry too, lol
• Uncomfortable clothes can be a silent dysregulator. You can get tips from others to find comfy but stylish brands.
• Loud noise is tough especially when it’s sudden but there are ways to build up noise tolerance and have plans in place if it’s overwhelming, like quiet rooms.
• Another way to overcome auditory sensory stress is to wear noise-canceling headphones.
• Having music on the speaker can help to drown out noises that are bothersome
• Take breaks by leaving the physical environment
Another flavor is physical stress. Physical stress is external and internal. Some physical stressors to consider are headaches, sickness, allergies, growing pains, pain, vision challenges, toothaches, gastrointestinal problems such as acid reflux and constipation; sometimes these can be chronic. It is important to remember that nonspeakers have all the same physical needs as neurotypicals. Traveling can sometimes flare these so have a plan for addressing it.
• Stresses may be easy to solve if you do regular check-ins. (If you are not able to openly communicate yet, your CRP might need to be a bit of a detective to watch for signs of physical discomfort).
• Pain and sleepless nights are unseen dysregulators so if you can, check in with your nonspeakers without leading questions.
• Chat about stims, loops and impulses with your Spellers. Which are stress-relieving and which are stress-inducing?
• Remember, sometimes we need naps too even if our bodies look energized
• Exercise or yoga helps alleviate physical stress
• Exercise can help with some gastro issues
• Puberty hormones throw us off so you may need to increase regulation tactics and exercise to work out the extra energy
• Work on regulation at medical offices so we can get regular check ups
Another flavor is emotional stress. It is hard not to be included in conversations people think we can’t understand or handle. We share the same emotional stresses as you. Too much excitement is hard sometimes too. Loneliness is huge, especially for those who are not open yet. Make connections with people who get it.
• Keep in mind a lot of us have good hearing so we hear when we are talked about and arguments our family might be having. Try to keep it positive in earshot.
• Don’t lie to us, we know when something is off.
• It’s hard feeling ignored or talked over so please be an active listener while we spell.
• Chats with friends always pleasingly help to relieve stress. We need friends to bitch to when others, even parents, piss us off. We need someone to confide in just like neurotypicals. Friends dive in and empty the stress bucket.
• It is important to try to have some way to stay positive when a CRP is not available. Not having a CRP is stressful but trying to connect with other spellers helps, like listening to Zoom even if you can’t participate.
• Being together with friends that get the struggles of our bodies is so meaningful to us. There are so many groups that make that possible like Tribe, Spellers and Allies, Forging Friendships, Neurolyrical Cafe, book clubs and classes offered by Reach Every Voice and Growing Kids Therapy Center, etc.
• Living in silence is traumatic for all Spellers. Past trauma benefits from counseling or therapy.
• The impact of a positive mindset is powerful. Check out this blog for more on this topic!
One more flavor is empathetic stress. Many nonspeakers are very in tune with the emotions and thoughts of those around them. It is vital to have a support system but it’s important to remember we feel their energy. Their emotions heavily impact our mood and regulation. This is why the “R” in CRP is so important.
• If your speller is dysregulated, take inventory of your own state of mind. It might not be us that needs the break.
• Engage our bodies in purposeful motor such as exercise, dance and yoga. Moving together is a great way to redirect both speller and CRP energy.
• Switching up the environment can help to ease tensions. Try taking a balm drive or going outside to get a breath of fresh air if you are stressed.
• Listen to music. Take time to create a mood-lifting playlist.
• Find a friend you can chat with when you need support. This can help both speller and CRP regulate.
• Try new things to find your passion. Doing what you love eases stress.
• Family therapy can be a good option if emotions are unsteady together. Talking to a professional who is familiar with nonspeakers may help.
Meet the authors:
Wyatt Dutton is a nonspeaking autistic man from Quebec, Canada. His passions include music and spending time with friends. He loves being a part of Tribe.
Jacob Gruen is a minimally speaking 22-year-old autistic man who spells to communicate. He is an abstract artist who uses his art as a platform for advocacy for all spellers. He loves collaborating with The Tribe.
Jack Haynes is a 22-year-old speller, nonspeaker, and advocate. He is passionate about music, nature, and advocacy. He values community and loves being a part of the tribe team!
Joel Nyland is a Pacific Northwest songwriter. He spells to communicate. His biggest wish is that nonspeakers, unreliable speakers, and minimally speaking people be heard.
Caden Rainey is a nonspeaking autistic advocate and songwriter from Wadsworth, Ohio. He is an avid fan of positivity and kindness and all things loving. Caden loves spending time with his friends and making them laugh with his puns. He dreams of starting his own business and traveling to Stonehenge.
